The Spirit World: Infiltrating Bioware – A Help Guide

So, you’ve taken on your spirit form and are now looking at Bioware HQ from across the spirit street.

 

Yep, that sums up my current situation.

 

What are you trying to achieve from this help guide?

 

I’m trying to get to the same floor Stephen Reid is on so I can ask him about the future of SWTOR.

 

What are you wearing?

 

Is that really important?

 

This is your first spirit heist isn’t it?

 

Yep.

 

You need to be wearing appropriate clothing for this or their spirit guards will catch and torture you.

 

I’m wearing a balaclava, t-shirt, jeans and thongs.

 

That sounds about appropriate for someone trying to pull off the “casual and about to rob you” look. However, Thongs?

 

Flipflops, sandals.

 

Sorry, the usual people that ask for my advice are American hippies.

 

Cool.

 

No its not, they argue with me every step of the way and then end up losing their soul because they didn’t follow my advice.

 

Losing their soul?

 

Sorry, did I say soul? I meant spirit …juice.

 

Are we going to start?

 

I was waiting for you.

 

I’ve been ready since I summoned you.

 

Ok, what do you see?

 

I see Bioware HQ and there is something that looks like a furry red Yoda standing around outside.

 

Furry red Yoda?

 

Yea, it looks kinda cute.

 

Furry red Yoda?

 

Yea, its looking at me.

 

Ok, the fury red Yoda must be a guard of some kind. What I suggest you do is walk across the street and inside as though you belong there.

 

It’s still looking at me.

 

Just tell me when you get inside.

 

I’m inside and I’m headed over to the elevator.

 

No, do not use the elevator that’s what they’ll be expecting. Take the stairs.

 

The stairs. But who knows what floor Stephen Reid is on?

 

If you take the elevator I cant be held responsible for what furry red Yoda will do to you.

 

Stairs it is then.

 

Try the top floor.

 

Why the top? I don’t want to walk all the way up there.

 

Think about it, the more floors you try the more suspicious you will seem, so we need to decide where he will most likely be – and because I dont think you would risk your soul juice just to be on the same floor as the janitor he must be important. Important people are on the top floor.

 

Sounds reasonable.

 

Also listen out for people following you.

 

I think I can already hear someone following me.

 

Why didn’t you say something?

 

Because you didn’t ask.

 

That is very childish considering you are the one risking your soul juice.

 

What is soul juice anyway?

 

It’s actually just soul, I didn’t want to scare you considering this is your first foray into the soul world.

 

What could possibly happen to my soul?

 

It’s link to your body could be destroyed, thus trapping you here.

 

Why wouldn’t you tell me that?

 

Um.

 

The footsteps are getting closer.

 

What floor are you at?

 

I’m on the top floor.

 

Go into the room and tell me we found him.

 

Yep I can see him… oh F***, there is some kind of crocodile man standing next to him.

 

What’s it doing?

 

It’s seen me, now it’s walking towards me… it’s got a lightsaber.

 

This ends the infiltrate Bioware via the spirit world help guide.

 

What, you cant leave me like this, what do I do?

 

For more help guides visit…

 

What, I need help now!

 

I would suggest the “Escape from Bioware HQ Via The Spirit World Help Guide”. However in the meantime I would recommend you… RUN

====================
Community involvement: Vote to decide what happens next.

  1.  Option 1) run into the bathroom.
  2.  Option 2) run back to the stairwell.

Voting will close a week after release. Post your vote in comments!

 

An original Ken Clark / TOROZ production

BioWare announce Ship Droid mini-game

It’s been an interesting weekend for releases of SWTOR information and one of the most interesting is today’s announcement of the Ship Droid mini-game in the upcoming 1.2 update.

Ok, not really as it’s an April Fool’s joke, but they’ve certainly gone to some trouble for a prank, check it out:

And even some inter-droid romance:

Have a look at the videos for yourself . I have to admit that I didn’t initially realise this was an April Fool’s prank, as I’m one of the 1% who love my ship droid and his inane comments. Maybe this will be implemented one day…

Over to you: did you enjoy BioWare’s attempt to make fools of us?

SWTOR Episode 2: The Internet Strikes Back

Ok, I don’t know where to start with this post. In fact, all I’m going to say is watch the video, but be aware it is NSFW and contains sex references and offensive language. It also contains a bucketload of laughs, meme-mashing and some plain funny skit humour:

So tell me: did you laugh?

Oh, and here’s Episode 1: A New Meme:

Dancing with Stormtroopers: A Bridge Too Far

See, I’m not sure whether to laugh, cry or riot over this video. I’m not enough of a Star Wars purist to get too antsy over Star Wars characters doing funny things, and there’s obviously no shortage of humour on the movies and games. But has George Lucas taken things too far with this:

Your learned thoughts in comments appreciated!

Kevin Rudd’s new hobby: SWTOR

Now that Australia’s former Prime Minister has some more time on his hands, it’s become obvious what he’s doing:

It’s proof that a lot of people were waiting for local servers before committing to the game ;)

Different perspectives on Chewbacca

A funny meme has popped up over recent weeks which I love, but some people are already damn sick of.  It’s the What People Think I Do schtick, and it’s been everywhere. (Some good non-Star Wars examples can be found here, here and here).

So it was with some pleasure I saw this one:

If you didn’t get it, then you didn’t check out the other examples I linked above. Go do your homework then have a laugh!

[via David K and Dark Horse Comics]

Possibly the funniest SWTOR review ever

Having read say, 90 or 100 reviews of SWTOR, I believe I’m qualified to say the one below is by far the funniest one of them all. It’s not a glowing review given the humour of the reviewer (Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw), but that’s what makes for a good review: honest opinions. It just happens that Ben’s honest opinions are likely to make you laugh – hard.

Enjoy:

 

I still can’t pick a favourite line here, there’s just too many of them.

Thanks to David K for the heads-up!

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