Inane references to The Greatest American Hero aside, there’s plenty of legitimate fun to be had in SWTOR and Bioware have promised much more to come in the future.
That said, it doesn’t stop some of us from making up our own entertainment and I’m no exception. First a quick disclaimer: it’s almost certain that I’m not the first to propose this idea, but as I’m not aware of any previous endeavors I’ll pretend this is novel, so no flaming if you’ve heard this before, okay?
Like any compulsive explorer, I have to know what’s on the other side of that hill. It doesn’t matter what hill – it’s a metaphor. As it turns out, eventually, the answer is nothing. Welcome to the Land of Dark Hexagons.
In the past, when my obsessive prodding of boundaries leads me to the edge of the world, I usually admire the view then turn around and get on with questing. But yesterday as I stared at the legendary floating mountains of Alderaan I thought, ‘why not jump and take a screenshot to prove what a dick I am?‘ So I did… and a new age of gaming was born. I’ve called it a ‘Spelunk Jump’ because it almost rhymes (sort-of) and it’s easier to say than ‘BASE Jumping Off the Edge of the World’ or ‘BeJuOtEotW’ for short. See? I said ‘Spelunk Jump’ was easier.
Granted, true BASE jumping involves a parachute, but since the wizards at BioWare have yet to provide one in my loot drops, I’ve decided to go without. The same goes for having anything to actually land on which makes the point of slowing one’s decent somewhat moot anyway.
Of course the real challenge is finding the sweet spot through obstacles and I won’t lie, you need persistence, patience and a good eye for a tender spot. In fact, it requires the kind of fanatacism reserved for donning explosive underdaks shortly before hitting the overseas departure lounge. Once you’ve clambered over enough rocks, in enough places, you’ll hit a magical chink in Bioware’s slippery rock/invisible wall armour. Lo, True Believers, the end of the world will present itself to you as the ground ends abruptly and you’ll get your first view of floating rocks since you last watched Avatar. Then it’s just a matter of a quick running jump into the void, making sure you snap a juicy screenshot of your plummet into nothing before you reappear in front of the closest medical droid. You won’t incur damage, but you will loose any active buffs or stims, so be warned.
No photo, no bragging rights. Deal? Okay then. We’ll let you in the club.
Is this the beginning of a new e-sport? Will groups gather for a mass Spelunk Jump?
Clearly not. In fact it’s probably the least productive thing you can do in the game besides trying to discuss cushion stuffing with your ship droid. But is it satisfying? Absolutely – if you’re a little wrong in the head. But until ‘Jawa Throwing’ or ‘Ewok Punching’ becomes a mini-game, it’ll do.
If you’ve found any good jumping points or map edges, send in a photo of your efforts or coordinates so someone else can try.
Go on… You know you want to.
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